Be a better human – and leader – with these 3 tips on communicating with empathy

By Amanda Feliu, Group Vice President
September 20, 2022

While getting my car serviced recently, a sign on the counter at the dealership service window caught my attention – and then quickly put me deep into thought. The sign only had three short but oh-so-powerful words:

Please be kind.

Chances are, you’ve seen similar pleas. At the bank, at the doctor’s office, at restaurants and stores … the world is short-staffed, times are hard, and everyone is feeling the pinch. It got me thinking: as a communicator, there really is nothing more important than empathy. Putting yourself into someone else’s shoes and understanding their perspective is incredibly powerful when crafting a message for your audience. Empathy underpins resonant communications.

So how do you communicate with empathy? Here are some tips and thoughts to keep in mind from Ken Jacobs, PCC, CPC, an executive coach, consultant and trainer for the communications industry and the principal of Jacobs Consulting & Executive Coaching: 

1. If you want to be a truly empathetic communicator, you must understand what empathy truly is. For example, did you know that there are three types of empathy? Cognitive, Emotional, and Compassionate. Here’s an article worth reading on the topic.
   
2. Many communicators, in my experience, are focused on what they want to say, share, and see. Instead, consider what does the recipient of your communications need? What would actually bring them value? To be a truly effective communicator, you must consider and understand your audience perspective. And in doing so, you are demonstrating empathy. Once you’ve figured out what your audience needs and wants, define the actions you want them to take in a way that they will understand and easily be able to act on. Otherwise, while you may have scored high in empathy, you haven’t gotten an “A” as a communicator.
   
3. Remember that energy is reciprocal and reflective, as are mindset, optimism, and… well…  everything. Since we get what we give, it only makes sense to give what we want. When we act in a kind way, most other people will respond in kind. So, if I were advising the dealership about their communications, I would advise them to modify their communications to something along the lines of “Our staff endeavors to always be kind. We hope you’ll be kind in return.”

Seeing the sign at the dealership initially made me sad. We shouldn’t have to tell people to “be kind,” but putting myself in an empathetic mindset led me to the thought that we’re all just human, and you never know what someone else is dealing with. Chances are, the person who hung that sign was frustrated. They did what was within their power to deal with it – and I respect that. Ken’s advice above are words we should all live by – especially as communicators and leaders. And then perhaps one day “please be kind” signs will be a thing of the past.